My name is Emily :)
I am a new mom with an amazing son. His name is Graysen! Living in San Diego with the love of my life. Starting my own family. I am scared out of my mind, but as long as I have my best friend, and lucky enough my man by my side, I feel like I will accomplish everything.
I have this blog merely to vent, and take a break every once in awhile.
Rip Nick Battistella and Andrew Rundle. We love and miss you.
Glenn is working nights now for the next two months.
I miss him in our bed.
Four more hours
It would be my dad to show up to Graysens first birthday party.
But he won’t.
It is his one chance to prove himself to me and my brothers and he is going to pass on it.
I’m still thinking as a little girl wanting her dad to man up. But I need to get over it.
By now im used to people letting me down. At least I can count on my little boy and my love of my life.
I am exhausted.
Trying to support my family and keep my life and my relationship together is wearing me down. Between trying to get government help. The constant pull to get all information and the worry of possibly not being able to keep a roof over your families head is overwhelming.
At the same time being told to try to have
A good time and relax because im still young..I want to punch those people in the face. You don’t get it, to have a constant worry is tough to just relax.
Not even a full two years with someone and having to pull it together faster than ever is one big accomplishment but keeping our tempers down and patients is the hardest. We are both tired and exhausted and sometimes I wonder how we are doing this. I am trying the best that I can. Maybe I could try harder but I don’t know if I have enough strength to do so. I’m falling apart. Sometimes I just want to be a lone like I used to be and I was happy that way. Feeling free to do what I want. But when I try I hate being a lone because I have two hearts counting on me.
I have co workers pulling at me.
Family members watching and judging me.
Life is not easy and the sooner people realize it the less stressful it’ll be.
I don’t want to hear about anyone’s relationship drama. Because I don’t care. I don’t want to hear complaints about not having a job because it’s actually really easy and people are lazy so I don’t have time to talk to lazy people. You just make me angry and don’t know what it’s like to have to work for something not a day in your life
I just want to say fuck you to everyone except my son. Because he is counting on me to pulp myself together so I can always be there for him. It’s not his fault that he is here mixed up with this life. The only strength that I have is to love him and care for him. I’m not sorry that I don’t have any energy to do anymore.